Expensive payment waste,

When I was a child, my parents moved from “small business” to “Sarah” because my mother had cancer and we didn’t have health insurance. With education, luck, diligence and luck, my mom and dad were able to pay as much as they could and took us to the middle income group, just in time for me and my sisters to go to college.

Most of my subsidy depends on my bachelor’s income, and even though my master’s promised subsidy failed, I am heavily indebted – about $ 80,000 in federal direct loans, not interest. And then I got a discount for a fully funded PhD. It’s been six years since I moved overseas. I met my wonderful wife, I got married, I graduated, and I have a lot of work and a lot of income. Although my family and many friends live in the US, I no longer see myself living there.

From the moment I arrived, I realized that the trauma of giving birth to a very sick mother should not have been compounded by years of debt and poverty. That simply does not happen here. Medical care is taxable for everyone. I also feel very sorry for my student loan. The country I am in now has invested in my education as a foreigner rather than the United States, and I am thinking of not repaying my American loan. Most penalties: Denial of wages, federal benefits and social security will only hurt me if I live in the United States. It’s the money I use to make a fortune (or at least I can afford to retire). This path will be even more interesting for me and my partner.

I have a dream of cutting and running. When I last saw my loan last year, my plan was to keep the income-based payment I had agreed to and only change it if my income reached a level of value. My debt will continue to grow for 25 years or so for the rest of my life. Apart from fear and self-respect, is there any good reason for me to even try to pay for them?

-Why am I?

Dear, why?

I’m in your shoes, with the same amount of debt as I did on my graduation day, and I understand your feelings about injustice in the United States with higher education rates and lower health care costs. People every year. That being said, I think personal loyalty is important, and you have a moral obligation to repay your loan. Some readers of this column argue that this makes me cruel, and there are some benefits to sticking to a system that shock many people by doing what many people can’t get out of debt. But I am cruel without compromising my personal integrity, and I am fine for that.

But since everyone’s morals are their own, there is one aspect of the “debt strike” approach that you may not think. Although it may not seem appealing to you right now, I do not think you want to put yourself in a position where it is not possible to go back. You do not know what will happen in the future that will change your mind and I do not think it is possible to eliminate the alternative. And what happens if you let go of your credit and something unexpected happens that keeps you from relying on your spouse for good? Life is long, and as you know from your parents’ experience, it is unknown. So while I fully understand your complaint about this, I think you should continue to repay your loan.

Expensive payment waste,

According to the autopsy report, a friend of mine died of alcohol poisoning. He had a drug habit but no opioids, and I couldn’t help but wonder who gave those drugs. Before he died, I had two boxes in place. Something I can’t replace. I tried to contact the landlord, but to no avail. What I want to know is that I think I have to go through everything I am trying to get my goods back, and if any of them are there, I am shedding more tears. Or should I just leave it at that? Any advice is appreciated.

– Life on the other side

Precious life on the other hand,

Addiction is complex, and there are many differences in its causes. I’m so sorry he lost, and understand why you’re trying to find out why your friend died, but maybe it’s not anyone or the cause. If you are having problems, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist.

Regarding your boxes, I think it depends on how important the items in the boxes are to you. Do I understand that they have no monetary value? If this is the case, then the question is less about finances and more about the emotional impact of a sudden loss. You seem to be struggling to cope with the loss of a friend and you need to find a way to do so no matter what happens. I think you should prioritize that first, and when you are in a better place, see if your boxes are still there and what is in them really matters to you.

Expensive payment waste,

My new boyfriend doesn’t want my money and it creates some low-level conflict. I (my 59-year-old boyfriend and my boyfriend are 47) suddenly after two weeks of dating I suddenly had to go in with him and the closer I got to myself, the less I wanted to move. went out. We truly love and agree with each other and he really wants me to stay. So, I will stay. But I value my freedom and am determined to pay the rent, and he understands. We have divided the prices of groceries and other consumer goods. He is “making money from me” because he is paying for the house, and he does not like it. On the other hand, I have my fair share and a way to attract others. But what is my real role? Can you help us find out?

-It is not a normal money battle.

Expensive is not the usual battle of money,

I think this argument is more about the nature of your relationship than about money. If he believes you will live together As a coupleHe may stop the idea of ​​paying rent because he is the landlord and does not want to be considered a landlord. You do not want to feel that you are financially supported by your home.

So I think you need to be clear about what your relationship is. For the context, I think if you are long-term, committed or married and you move into his house, it is a little strange to pay rent to him – or unusual, at least. If the relationship is normal and you are not sure if it is permanent, I think you should pay part of it so that you do not feel indebted.

In the meantime, maybe there’s something else you can do financially that you don’t feel like paying rent for. Maybe you’re the one who pays the bills, or maybe you write down each vacation, or anything that makes sense in this new family. I think it’s important to emphasize to him that you want to attract money in your relationship, for your own sake, for him. The desire to be self-directed is especially important in the context of your risk, and not just about fairness; It affects your self-confidence and well-being. Your boyfriend may not really understand that, and I think it’s important to discuss this in depth.

Expensive payment waste,

I and everyone at my level work in a competitive health care field where we are paid to try to increase retention: prevent us from going to other health systems, personal practices, etc. For another job, but this made me look for opportunities that I didn’t really think about. Despite this increase in salary, I recently learned that I could make more money if I went to personal practice. After all, I love my current job and the way I work. What is the protocol to use this knowledge as a way to ask for more? I feel weird about using the threat of leaving, it may not be when I know in depth.

-You know the devil, on the contrary…

You know, dear Devil

I think there is a way to have this conversation so that you don’t feel threatened by the release. Tell your boss how you would like to discuss the long-term nature of your work, including any promotional methods and additional compensation. In that context, it is only reasonable to assume that what you know is market value for your work. I think you can get an idea of ​​how suitable they are to give you more.

Of course, what you do with knowledge depends on how bad it is to stay in your current job. But I don’t think it’s unreasonable to talk about it and I don’t think your employer is actively looking for new opportunities and threatening to quit if you talk about your career development. Emphasize how much you love your work; Use forward-looking words and phrases to confirm your good intentions. But bring those numbers!

Classic Prudie

When I was 17, I was breastfeeding our younger brother and sister. They were sleeping on the floor. My brother wanted money and started fighting in the kitchen. I climbed up to stop him, and he threw me against the wall and put his hand on my throat. I was going to get dark. My brother was frightened when he heard our neighbor driving in the garage. When I could, I called my parents. But they did not call the police. Now I continue to feel isolated and isolated from my family. what should I do?